Why wisdom is a woman’s greatest strength
As I mark the 3rd anniversary since being appointed as the Deputy Commissioner of the Somali Police Force, I thought to break with the usual tradition of Somali government officials of holding an event show-casing my achievements over the time I served in the position and instead share some leadership reflections. I wish to share the main challenges I faced and the key lessons I learned while overcoming them; in the hope that every girl who dreams of becoming a leader can arm herself with the realities of being a female leader. This is not an attempt to dishearten future female leaders, but rather an effort to fill a vacuum I encountered and what I wished I had been told about before becoming a female commissioner.
The simple fact that you are a woman will be the greatest contention point
Somali custom is very adamant in holding females in high esteem and any man who either misbehaves against or mistreats a woman will at the very least be viewed as lesser of a man if not totally ostracised from his community. However, this custom is totally thrown out of the court when it comes to women in leadership position; then the mere fact that you are woman will be the greatest reason for the attacks against you. Despite wanting to view themselves as evolved and modern, Somali men have yet to get used to being led or managed by a woman in the work-place. And if you are like me – with no direct male relatives (husband, son, father, brother) present in Somalia – make sure you top up your arsenal of patience and wisdom because you will no doubt face the full force and fury of the patriarchal system. Do not expect that the position will automatically earn you the respect you need; nor that the male leaders above you will be merciful. You will be knocked down on a daily basis – perhaps even several times a day – but there’s a thin line between a knock down and a knock out. Men are like rottweilers, they can smell fear and can tell if you’re faking your courage. Cry into your pillow, release your anger on the treadmill if you like. Just make sure you show up ready to continue the fight the very next morning with a big smile on your face and a fierce fire in your eyes. The men will expect you to fail; take pleasure in disappointing them every day.
Advocate and support the women but do not expect any gratitude in return.
When you are the highest female authority in any institution you have a special duty to encourage, protect and promote the females who do not have your power. Be their voice when they cannot dare to express themselves, be their guiding star when the going gets tough and most importantly protect them from predators who out-power them. But do not be foolish enough to expect gratitude or any backing in return. As a matter of fact, you can count on the greatest cheerleaders for your down-fall or failures will come from the very group whose advocate you were. Sometimes, the reality is that sisterhood is only skin-deep. While criticism of your male counter-parts will tend to focus on attacking their leadership skills – either accusing them of being tribalist, corrupt or dishonest – as a woman you can expect a full attack on your character. You may posses the sainthood of the Virgin Mary but rest assured that you will be vilified as a prostitute; a woman of no class nor merit, who simply slept her way to the top. Just remember that every person sees in others what they really are; the women who attack your character may not all be bad human beings but rather just projecting their own insecurities and societal indoctrination on you. People’s opinions about you do not have to become your reality; your actions will paint your true character and in time set the record straight. As a female leader you still carry the duty of carrying the torch for your womankind; like the sun you have to burn to brighten the darkness and bring hope to those who depend on it. Because believe me, the ones that depend on it outnumber those who want to kill your light.
Being a deputy is like being in a dark ditch; find a way to stand out.
In my line of work, traditional values are the norm which makes our institution and policies very rigid and extraordinarily against transformation. As a deputy you are really not much greater than a glorified assistant to the Commissioner; for your own survival – and particularly if you are the only female – you have to find a way to bring meaning to your position. Although most Somali government positions are allocated according to a clan-based power-sharing model, as a female it will be detrimental for you to rely on clan back-up to secure your position. See, Somali custom states that “women possess no tribe/clan” thus if you return to your clan for any support you can count on them to start plotting on finding your male replacement. Your best option is finding a skill or a trait that will make you stand out from your male counterparts. As a woman in a high-level position you are bound to enjoy public exposure, harness it to empower your position. This will leave you open to much scrutiny particularly into your private life, so make sure the shaping of your public image remains under your tight control. A commanding public image can no doubt make you more influential than your male counter-parts however always bear in mind that which makes you can also be used to break you. In other words, always remind yourself that it is the person that makes the image and that they are two separate entities. Therefore, any attack against your public image should not be taken as an attack against your person. Know also that public interest and attention are very fleeting, you will have to ensure to renew your public image regularly while always making sure not to stray away from the objective it is supposed to serve. Your public image needs to be serving your position, not the opposite. The moment you place more faith in your image over your position you have made yourself a very vulnerable target. Vanity is the death of the light of wisdom and the destroyer of many great leaders; your quest for being a great leader should never rely heavily on the transitory that is public opinion.
Politics is a dirty game, pick your battles wisely.
The Somali political arena is mainly occupied by men who treat it like a theatre to show-case their arrogance and greed. Therefore, most of political conflicts that occur should not be of much concern for you as a female leader for it is not your duty to act as a referee for which politician or party has the superiority. The many wars of Somali men end as quickly as they start and rest assured that when it comes to Somalia political conflicts are rarely based on real political differences nor is there such a thing as real political archenemies. Therefore, be careful when picking sides during a political stand-off. And if you have to pick a side make sure to choose based on principle and/or the side that will most likely ensure the longevity of your own position. Men are by nature selfish and their political dramas nasty and short-lived, they are loyal to nobody but themselves. Therefore, even if you do pick sides do not expect gratitude or any other form of reward for your support. Men in power do not speak the language of an elevated species; they adhere to their basic instincts of survival of the fittest. If you wish to survive and even thrive in a male dominated arena, you be wise to learn the language of the game and set aside any attempts to evoke feelings of loyalty and other emotive semantics. Your best bet is to try to stay as politically neutral as possible for as long as possible.
Define your legacy; work to achieve it
Whether you are the first, third or hundred female leader to occupy a position, know that your mistakes will be used to judge all females in leadership – current and future. Unlike your male counter-parts the criteria upon which you will be measured on will be no shorter than total perfection. Therefore, take extra care to avoid the mistakes and pitfalls of your chosen profession. Being a great leader begins as a personal journey that can only be rightly completed if a true legacy is left behind. From the onset you have to decide for yourself how you wished to be remembered as a leader, you have to imagine the kind of history you wish to leave behind and then work to accomplish it. If you do not know how you want to finish, you diminish the possibility of concluding the journey. Time and again, you will be challenged to “fit in” and follow the crowd. Great leaders have survived this pressure by firstly defining the type of legacy they wish to achieve and constantly remind themselves of it. Many leaders come and go but those who have stood the test of time are those who knew why they were placed on earth and moved the earth to achieve it.
In conclusion, know that every game has a rule book; many great leaders perished before their time as they preferred to fight the rule book rather than learn it. In the world of political leadership there is very little room for emotions and naiveté. The game can only be transformed from those who enter it and master it. For a woman to excel in this arena she will serve herself well by adopting wisdom and selective humbleness. To dominate men, learn their language and their game but outsmart them with your female intuition and astuteness. Direct war will never serve you well; for fighting fire with fire will only get you burned.